Support from home

As my time in Beijing comes to an end, I’m more self-reflective than usual. This says something because I spend a lot of time reflecting, or obsessing, depending on how I feel about my personality that day. Today, I’ll call it reflection and give myself a break.

Thinking about the fellowship opportunity that brought me to Beijing, there were many times when I considered giving it up and not making the trip. At times, it seemed like an impossible gift and an unreasonable burden. There were significant financial concerns that eventually, through the kindness and herculean efforts of people at my home university, resolved themselves. There were coursework concerns. Could I finish my courses from a distance? My professors and administration in the School of Communication helped me make arrangements to do so. How would I stay in touch with my advisor and committee at a time when I should be making arrangements to complete my comprehensive paper and exams? Again, the people at USM came through for me and helped me continue to make progress toward my degree. As wonderful and fantastic as they are, all of these things are second to the work done by my family during the past three months and, more significantly, the past two years.

When people first meet me, they often assume that I am single with no children. Multiple people, both in Mississippi and in China, have told me so. Their follow up questions are, “How can you do this with a family?” or “Don’t you miss your family?” The answers to those questions are similar but different in significant ways. I can only do what I do because of my family.

Sometimes, people express admiration for me. This nearly always shocks me. When it happens, I deflect to my husband. I can only do what I’m doing because he works full time and spends the rest of his time managing our household and caring for our children. He earns every bit of the praise directed at me. Yes. I do miss my family. Often, I want to go home. Right now. And not return. Staying in Omaha, working wherever will hire me, and being with my family is incredibly appealing every day. But, wait! I’m here in China and entering my final year of PhD studies because my family believes in me. My children are independent when they need to be and have learned to rely on their dad for everyday needs. My husband is exhausted but never blames me. In contrast, he encourages me every day to complete my degree and to do extra things like this fellowship.

Thinking about my time in Beijing, I am thankful for this opportunity that I didn’t always want or value. I am thankful for the people in my professional and personal lives who chatted with me via email, text, Snapchat, Facebook, and FaceTime when I needed encouragement or a message from home. I am especially thankful for everyone at home who made it possible for me to do this. I didn’t do it alone. It was a group effort as are all of my adventures and achievements. The people at home earned the kudos, I am the one who gets to enjoy them.